The Expendables, the review!

In the 80's there was a slew of action films that involved extremely buff dudes kicking ass with mostly terrible plots, but this spoke to the audience at the time. This was a time of one liners and it was when dudes like Stallone and Arnold would pull in money just by being in a film. I remember as a youngin watching "Rambo" and "Commando" with my Uncle, they are fond memories that continue to get me to watch ridiculous action films for the sheer joy of seeing the hero rain destruction upon his enemy. "The Expendables" attempts to relive this time period by bringing in action heroes from all sorts of different areas to kick ass together for the first time on screen.

As far as plot goes, you're not watching it for this. Story is what you expect, complete bad ass mercenaries feel they need to do something right for once so they go help some island you've probably never heard of in the Gulf of Mexico from some horrid leader that looks like a kitten when compared to Stalin or Castro. There are some interesting moments such as, Mickey Rourke's little speech about half way through the movie, there seems to be a lot of neat back story which would really add to the plot and give characters some more life but  sadly it's never really touched upon other than just mentioning of things and not really getting into detail. Of course seeing Arnold, Stallone and Bruce Willis on the same screen is definitely one of the greatest moments in the film; I mean c'mon it is the Governator!

This an action film in the vein of the 80's, so you expect action scenes to be brutal and just plain awesome. I really felt bitter after seeing the film as the action scenes are all super choppy much like a Bourne film. This style really works for the Jason Bourne trilogy, but it really doesn't work for this. Gone are the epic shots that you saw back in the 80's, instead your trying to pick out what happened in the different quick cuts, it really detracts from what could have been one of the better action films in the last decade. Another thing that really sucked was the use of CG blood, it just looks so fake, does no one else notice when they are filming that it looks crappy? Can we please start using squibs in movies again? Thank you. While the fake blood sucked, for the most part the rest of the CG worked well enough and didn't distract you. Otherwise the other action scenes that weren't so damn choppy were awesome and what you expected from this film.

Performances are what they are for their respectable characters, they are all playing their normal roles, some better than others. The only performances worth mentioning is Mickey Rourke and Jet Li. Mickey Rourke brings the only meaningful piece of dialogue to the entire film and Jet Li brings some of the best laughs. If there was one thing I wish would have happened other than the problems that have all ready been mentioned be fixed is that Dolph Lundgren and Stallone would have duked it out one last time for us fans.

THE VERDICT: C+
If you want your nostalgia fix or just enjoy choppy action scenes go check it out. I feel it is worth a watch and I'd watch a sequel but I think it's the child within me that has any true joy for the film. It's worth it for the Governator appearance.